Frustrated Entrepreneur

Dear Terry,

I run a small manufacturing company with 50 people. My market is changing, and I have to change my company to adapt to my changing market. My customers are demanding more standardized equipment and less unique job shop equipment. This is a shift in my employee's mindset. I need to set the direction of my company, implement changes, and have my employees come along as willing and engaged participants with me. This is crucial to my continued success. I do not have the courage and desire to address my employees more than one on one. Giving my company direction over to the biggest blow-hard in my company is not the message I wanted to convey. I also feel like I have to continually repeat myself as if these people will never likely understand what I am trying to say. Help!

- Frustrated Entrepreneur

Dear Frustrated,

It sounds like you need to get all the help that you can muster to right your ship.

As you pointed out, if you leave your communication to others before you can present the desired communication yourself, you are at the mercy of your blow-hard manager. The manager knows that you lack the self-esteem and self-confidence to speak up, so the manager talks over and under you with this bloviator operating style. Without a doubt, this bully is running your company—and you!

Immediately, I would hire a business consultant to help you out of your quagmire. And simultaneously, I would join a speaking group to find your own voice. Be frank with the consultant. Otherwise, you will spend more time with your business boat spinning in an eddy and going nowhere. Once you have found your voice, you'll be running your own company and your own life.

Terminate the blow-hard.

Confused Presenter

Dear Terry,

I've been asked to give a presentation. I know the topic, but the group will be bigger and I want to be seen as prepared, knowledgeable, etc. I get confused by my preoccupation with the audience. I forget stuff I know, and come across as weak and unprofessional. This compounds my fears and it becomes a vicious cycle. How do I fix this? What can I do to overcome this? It holds me back and makes me seem less in the eyes of others.

- Confused Presenter

Dear Confused,

Without a doubt, you know well the material you will present. Somewhere along life's journey, like so many of us, you have developed a feeling of being "not good enough." Therefore, you have given the audience the power to judge you and your presentation.

I am getting the drift that this is truly a vicious cycle for you, whether you are presenting at work, home, or play.

Suggestion. Find a group of colleagues and friends to practice your presentations with, and you will overcome these obstacles and fears. Once you practice, practice, practice with your trusted colleagues and friends, you will develop confidence in yourself as a speaker so that you will let go of judging yourself too harshly. Your practice group will empower you by offering you feedback in an uplifting fashion. They will help you to see yourself as capable, rather than criticize you to make you feel otherwise. They will want you to overcome your speech anxiety and make you feel good enough to soar like an eagle.

Once you feel better about yourself, like you are "good enough," you will make an excellent presentation because your confidence will attract your audience's attention. Again, work on yourself. Once you focus on giving an excellent presentation, you will not have time to worry about what others think of you. Besides, who gives a hoot what others think?

Deer in Headlights

Dear Terry,

I have just received a well-deserved and wonderful promotion at work. A large part of my new role will require me to deliver presentations publicly. I will be speaking to groups of 50 or more. That said, I am scared to death to stand up to speak to 10 people, let alone 50. In the past, I froze and was not able to continue with any professionalism whatsoever. How can I overcome this?

- Deer in Headlights

Dear Deer in Headlights,

Congratulations! I would like to give you big kudos for your well-deserved promotion. You must feel good about your newly-awarded largesse.

The first thing that you need to think about is the Peter Principle. This is to say that you may have been promoted above your capabilities and competency, your new pay grade. Don't want to slide downhill, do you?

Second, I would immediately call Dale Carnegie Speaking seminars and ask about their 12-step public speaking program. Is is an eight-week course, three hours each week after work. The speech course is fantastic. You will thaw the ice which had you frozen tight.

This is where the tire hits the road. Invite your boss. Your boss "should" consider going to the speaking seminars with you.. The boss may even have promoted you to avoid speaking in public themself, and perhaps needs the same course that you do. Or the boss doesn't recognize the people who do not have speaking skills.

Once you have been through the Dale Carnegie Speaking training, and you have broken the ice for yourself, you will want to join another ongoing public speaking venue to hone your skills. You and your boss will bond, and you two will put a stop to setting people up for failure.