Over-Prepared Perfectionist

Dear Terry,

In my career, I am called to give presentations regularly to clients, and to business affiliates. As an overachiever and perfectionist, I tend to over-prepare and write out pages of what I want to say. I practice my presentations multiple times ahead of time and go in with confidence, but when I am on the spot, I frequently read off my notes rather than speak freely because I want my presentation to be perfect. However, reading off my notes makes me appear less than prepared. What do you advise I do?

- Over-Prepared Perfectionist

Dear Over-Prepared,

Kudos to you for doing the work! Many people get up to speak and do not prepare. They wing it. And then they wonder why they have speech anxiety. Not you! An old maxim. There is the speech that we prepared and the one that we gave, and then there is the speech that we wished we'd presented. You want to be too perfect. The world is not too perfect. Let go of being perfect.

Let the audience see that you are not perfect. The audience has no idea what you prepared. You know your material and your presentation. When we trust what is inside, the rhythm will come through on the outside for the world to hear. If need be. The next step would be to use a little cheat sheet, make a few bullet points, and get up on your feet to speak. Trust that the right words will come. They will.

Is is much like dancing. We practice, prepare, and get up without prepared notes. We shake our booties without all of the perfectionistic rules, which tend to tie us up and cause us to feel not good enough. You are not in school any longer. There is no report card other than the one that you give yourself.

Tongue-Tied

Dear Terry,

When I hear a polished speaker, they always have a smooth, easy-going tone with some great lines. When I write my speech, I spend a lot of time on the phrasing and getting the wording just right. Then when I give the speech, I end up having to basically read, which detracts from my presentation. I want to be well-prepared, but memorizing or reading just doesn't seem to be the answer. Any tips about how to prepare a speech and speaking notes that would help me to attain my goal of the smooth, conversational tone that I am striving for?

- Tongue-Tied Toastmaster

Dear Tongue-Tied,

It is an excellent hallmark of your character and fabric that you care enough about your audience and yourself to prepare for your speeches. Preparing your talks helps one to get their thoughts organized, and provides the opportunity to ensure that the purpose of the speech will deliver value.

When you prepare your speech, consider writing like you talk... speak writing. You are not preparing your speech to be graded by a school professor.

This is where the tire hits the road. Cut yourself some slack. Preparing a speech is like developing guardrails about what you will present. Feel free to bob and weave when you deliver your talk. It doesn't need to be given precisely as you have written out the speech.

If you are going to read the speech, we call this a read-along. Remarkably, you recognize reading your talk is distracting. When you know and trust yourself, the words will flow without notes.

Once you have meticulously prepared your speech, consider calling a couple of buddies a few days in advance of your speech date and have a conversation with each of them about the content of your upcoming speech. Share with your buddies what you will talk about, and these conversations will reinforce what you have prepared without notes. This will allow you to practice your speech without putting pressure on yourself. This is speech practice without saying as much.

When you give your speech, trust that the words will come in a conversational tone. You are on your way to becoming a polished speaker.

Terrified

Dear Terry,

I soon will have to give a speech in front of many people at my local rotary club, and I am terrified and very insecure. I tend to stutter, repeat myself, and lose my train of thought. I am concerned people will think badly of me because of my speech difficulties. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

- Terrified

Dear Terrified,

You have speech anxiety. You are not alone. Most people would rather die than give a speech. Perhaps, squelched in your childhood, you didn't grow in self-esteem and self-confidence building. Like many people with speech anxiety, you, too, have some work to do. Many organizations foster public speaking development. First, I would suggest that you find someone, an excellent speaker that you know, to take you by the hand as you find an organization that has cultivated a safe harbor environment that is supportive and encouraging, and that will help you to overcome your speech anxiety.

It is very important that you commit to overcoming this anxiety. It will take a desire to attend weekly public speaking development meetings over an extended period. Toastmasters International, a

public speaking organization that comes to mind, which has many clubs throughout the USA, is well-known for developing members as public speakers. Ask your friend to help you shop for a club that will welcome you with open arms so that you have the opportunity to flourish, as you regain your self-esteem and self-confidence.

I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to be with and around supportive and encouraging people. If you are with a group of people who immediately want to evaluate you with a red pencil, you are not with the right group. Now that you have recognized that you want to overcome your speech anxiety, be patient and find a club that wants you to succeed, rather than to be in a weekly speech competition. A supportive club will help you to overcome your fears. And once you do, you won't care one iota what other people think. Have fun!